Bourbon and Bears: Book Three: Shifters and Sins Read online

  Maybe he wouldn’t have acted like a hotheaded asswipe if the lie hadn’t been about her cub’s father. He’d felt the fingers of his old life crawl across his skin in that moment, and like a selfish prick, he’d missed all the signs.

  Sweet fuck, he needed to get a grip. He couldn’t lose his head again. His inner beast was running him ragged with bullshit he didn’t have time to entertain.

  Maylee wasn’t his mate.

  She also didn’t have a mate.

  Ellis shoved his wolf to the back of his head and grimly swore to apologize if Maylee would give him two words ever again.

  Jensen watched him carefully for a long moment. Then he turned his eyes skyward and let off a soft curse before fixing him with another hard look. “All right. Watch them, will you? I’ll help Wyatt close down the bar and we’ll split guard duties.”

  Ellis toured the building as soon as Jensen’s tail lights faded in the darkness. The motel wasn’t packed, but the scents of cleaning supplies and other shifters made picking out individuals difficult. If he hadn’t known Noelle’s car from the others, he wouldn’t have been able to pick out likely rooms where she, Maylee, and the cub were staying.

  He didn’t see anyone else lurking in the shadows. No bears, no mate, just a quiet parking lot edged by an empty street.

  His wolf pushed forward and stretched his skin tight. Fur brushed against his brain in a familiar sign of the beast wanting out. Glancing thoughts of his brother and ex made the beast want to run and fight, and Maylee brought all that past pain roaring to the surface.

  Not his mate. Not his responsibility. Not his, not his, not his.

  Ellis crossed his arms over his chest and kept his eyes on the motel.

  A full hour after he arrived, Noelle exited a room on the bottom floor. She murmured a last farewell to those inside, then shut the door behind her, walked straight to her car, and drove off in the same direction as Jensen.

  The sliver of light spilling between the closed curtain clicked off. Ellis didn’t spot the soft glow of a television screen, either.

  He silently wished Maylee and Esme a good night, then felt like an even bigger fool.

  The quiet darkness pressed at him with gloomy thoughts and memories he didn’t want to turn over. It was a relief when Wyatt pulled into the parking lot. His pack mate tried to say something, but Ellis kicked his ride to life and spun out before any pearls of wisdom were stuffed into his ears.

  He knew where everything had gone sideways. He didn’t need an instant replay of either night.

  He drove toward his den, then sped right past. If the dark outside was too quiet, his den would have felt like a tomb.

  On and on, wind whipping around his ears. He opened up once he passed the last of Redwater’s small neighborhoods and let the darkness take him.

  He needed to be alone. Needed to be cleansed by the night air. He couldn’t focus on past problems or new when they rushed to meet on the road behind him.

  He was halfway to the entrance to Yellowstone when he spotted dark shapes and shadows against the rest of the night. He slowed as he approached; this stretch of road was usually desolate, the nearest neighbors long gone in his rearview mirror.

  The back of his neck prickled as he pulled onto the shoulder and cut his engine. Ellis inhaled deeply, then let out a low growl and stepped off his ride.

  He eyed the collection of cars and motorcycles parked on the side of the road. The stink of fur covered them and made the owners easy to identify. Of the bears themselves, there was no sign. Which wasn’t good. He didn’t like his enemy running free all around him.

  Hazy, red anger welled up inside him and obliterated the cold, calculated fury he kept close to his chest. This wasn’t some fight where he had to keep on his toes and hold his wolf back. The beast whipped into a hurricane inside him, howling for a taste of blood and vengeance.

  When he spotted a bat in the back seat of a car, something shifted inside him. He was kicked to the background where he could watch himself like he starred in his own fucked up movie.

  He tried the doors, but they were locked. So he smashed an elbow into the window and cleared out enough glass to reach inside.

  Fingers wrapped tightly around the bat, he unleashed on the first bike with the same fury he’d used on his brother. He was the reason why Ellis didn’t let his wolf loose. He’d been vicious when he’d spun into the attack, fists and fangs fueled by the abject sorrow that had punched through his chest and lodged into his heart.

  Betrayal did that to a man.

  Ellis twirled the bat between his fingers and took out the taillights of a car. The trunk crunched under another swing. More broken glass scattered over back seats served as further warning to get the fuck out of Redwater.

  Lie. His wolf snarled at his weak excuse.

  He’d been hurt before. Betrayed. Used and set aside for someone else. His own flesh and blood stole the woman he thought he’d mate. She wasn’t innocent in the matter, no, but for his brother to be the other man was an extra knife in the back.

  Maylee had lied to him. Just like Aaron. Just like Heather.

  Each blow squeezed out some of the poison inside his heart and replaced it with new hurt.

  He wasn’t ever going to be good enough for a mate. Jensen, Wyatt, they had good women in their lives. He had something dark that lived in his chest, that tried to rear its ugly head that very night. He wasn’t good for a woman or a child.

  And he still wanted her.

  When it was over, Ellis breathed hard and eyed the broken bits of plastic and glass that littered the ground.

  Broken. Just like him.

  Yeah, fuck that.

  He was who he was. Bouncer. Enforcer. Rage-filled beast. The words were like a hair shirt against his skin.

  But what he was good at was the exact thing Maylee needed. She might not want him, but he would be her protector and drive her clan out of her life.

  Permanently.

  Chapter 7

  Maylee sat in the corner of Miller’s Bake Shoppe and flipped through the local paper. Esme sat in her lap, peacefully banging the cylinder from her shape sorter on the edge of the paper like nothing was wrong in the world. The crinkling noise of the paper made her giggle, and made Maylee wish she could make the baby’s life peaceful in actuality. Instead, they were plagued by demons of their past, problems in their present, and an uncertain future.

  She just wanted to do right by the cub. Helena wouldn’t have wanted her to live a hard life, which was guaranteed if she went into Dustin’s care. She’d be lucky if she just had to endure him until she reached adulthood, but he’d probably grow sick of a child far sooner than that, and sell her to the highest bidder. Maylee didn’t want to imagine the horrid possibilities that entailed.

  She had to keep Esme safe. No matter what.

  The repair shop had been her first trip that morning. She’d needed an idea of how far in the hole she’d be if she got back on the road in her own car, or if she needed to accept her own two feet and a bus pass as the mode of her next escape.

  She’d been completely ambushed by the fact that Ellis paid for her car to be fixed. Five hours, six tops, and she’d be back behind the driver’s seat.

  Maylee drummed her fingers against the table and tried to figure out her next move.

  She hated owing anyone anything. Money, favors, she didn’t like dangling at the top of the seesaw just waiting for someone to kick off the ground and force her back to Earth.

  Dustin, the piece of shit, had done just that. She was happy to give settling down a try. She wanted to make her own way. His lackeys showing up and making their demands meant she was at a disadvantage with all the help that’d been shown to her since she stumbled into Dark Horse looking for a place to ride out the storm.

  She wouldn’t let him take Esme. Vinnie and Greg and Sheila and all the rest could run back home empty-handed.

  Maylee jumped as a plate piled high with pastries plopped down in front of he
r. She followed the hand that inched the plate forward up an arm to a smiling Alanna.

  She’d been surprised to find the little shop was where Alanna worked, and even more pleased when neither she nor the owners objected to her camping out at a table without buying more than a single small coffee.

  “I can’t—” she started.

  Alanna arched a brow and pushed the plate closer. A cup of coffee joined the food. “I know you’re flush with tip money, so drop a dollar in the jar on your way out and we’ll call it even.”

  “Thanks.” She picked up a cinnamon roll and tossed the other woman a wry smile. “Know a way I can make a quick thousand or so?”

  “As a mother to a teenager eyeballing about a thousand new ‘needs’ every day, I’d guard that secret with my life if I knew it.” Alanna shook her head and let off a low laugh. Her smile grew as she passed a fond look over Esme. “You know, I did the single mom thing for years. If you need any advice or even just a sympathetic shoulder, I’m your girl.”

  “I thought you had a mate.”

  Alanna pointed to the empty seat across from her and tucked herself in at Maylee’s nod. “Wyatt wasn’t around back then. I thought he was dead until he rode back into town, so naturally, I couldn’t hound him for help. Dead sort of cuts off the support system, you know?”

  Boy, did she. Maylee hid her grimace behind a bite of cinnamon roll and swallow of her drink. Her bear paced uneasily through her head.

  “Ginny and Charles, they offered me a place when I had nothing. They put clothes on my back and food on my plate. And you know what? It took a really long time and lots of growing pains, but I figured my shit out. I made it work for Atticus. It’s tough, what we parents do, but the good days are worth it. Even those bad days of nonstop crying and no sleep are worth it, too.”

  Maylee glanced at Esme, now gumming her toy. The quiet time wouldn’t last for long; the lunchtime fuss was quickly approaching. She’d spent many of those pulled off on the side of the road or—if she was lucky—parked next to a public playground. A cozy cafe with old-school music softly playing in the background was a change of pace. “Definitely worth every hardship.”

  But the hardships were unsustainable. She needed money. A place to let the little one grow up. They couldn’t stay on the run forever. She had to think about school and friends and even simple playtime and potty training and learning to run and ride a bike.

  She felt like she stood ten feet in front of a semi named Hard Choices as it barreled down on her while she denied its existence.

  “Hell and high water have come, gone, and washed me a good man up on the shores. Which is perfect timing, because that cub of his is absolute trouble.”

  Skies above, she looked so happy. Maylee felt a momentary pang of jealousy.

  “That,” Maylee sighed, “won’t be my future.”

  Alanna ran her fingers down the edge of the table. “Does that have something to do with your mate?”

  Maylee froze. So word hadn’t spread throughout the clan. Alanna, Noelle... they’d done nothing but treat her well since she stepped into their lives. And she repaid them by bringing trouble down on their heads.

  She wanted to trust them and pay them back properly. The truth was the only currency she had at the moment.

  “He’s not my mate,” she said quietly. Maylee dragged down a shuddering breath, then pushed more words past her lips. “He was my twin’s.”

  “Was?”

  “Helena... died.” Pain gripped her heart and squeezed. Even rocking Esme in her carrier didn’t quiet the hurt that wanted to steal her words and overwhelm her. “Dustin, his people—the ones that are after me—someone killed her.”

  Horror washed across Alanna’s face, followed quickly by sympathy. She reached across the table and covered Maylee’s hand with her own. “Maylee, I’m so sor—”

  Maylee cut her off. Sorries didn’t heal the wounds or bring her sister back. Her voice stayed tight while her bear lashed out against the hurt souring in her stomach. “I can’t go back to them. I can’t let Esme be raised in a clan that would do that to her—”

  Careful.

  She still had to tread carefully.

  “Do that to one of their own,” Maylee finished.

  Silence stretched between them from one second to the next. Then Alanna met her eyes, dark brown solemn as she processed the story. “Holy hell,” she whispered. “Have you told anyone else?”

  Maylee shook her head. “It’s just been us for six months. No one believed me over Dustin, so I left.”

  “Right call, I’d say. I don’t even want to imagine what they’d do after making that accusation.” Alanna rolled her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head.

  Maylee didn’t have that luxury. She knew exactly what they’d do. She’d end up in the same ditch where Helena had been dumped.

  “You want my advice?” At Maylee’s shrug, Alanna continued. “It takes a village to raise a cub, right? You need to find your people. Not your former clan, because fuck them. Your people. The ones who will stick with you through the end. Your Ginny and Charles, with a side of hard-ass ready to fight.”

  “And I bet you have some sage words about who that might be?”

  “Redwater has its problems, but the Rawlins pack have really kicked a hornet’s nest of change. They’re good eggs.” She dropped her eyes and broke a cookie into half. “Especially Ellis. Who has a spare room at his new place. You wouldn’t have to camp out on anyone’s couch or run up motel bills, plus it couldn’t hurt to have an enforcer just down the hall if you needed help.”

  Maylee’s bear rolled through her at the man’s name. Her human side frowned with residual anger over the accusations he’d thrown at her the night before as well as his insertion into her escape plan. The first hadn’t been entirely undeserved and the second was a nice gesture wrapped up in a hero complex.

  Alanna rightly read her silence as hesitation. “You want to go, that’s fine. I just hope you find what you’re looking for and keep safe on your search. But you’re here now. We can help if you’d accept.”

  Like a switch flipped. Esme pitched her toy forward and kicked her feet. Upset grunts replaced her playful, happy giggles. Maylee dug into the diaper bag, but even the temptation of a fresh sippy cup didn’t hold off the fuss.

  She adjusted the squirming cub on her lap and reached again, but Alanna was quicker. She unloaded the little lunch box that contained a plastic bag of round cereal pieces and some slices of apple. Esme worked her fingers hard to snag an apple and bring it to her mouth.

  “Mmmmm,” she babbled, eyes flying wide at the flavor hitting her tongue.

  “What if it doesn’t work out?” Maylee asked over the noise. “What if he’s a terrible roommate or Dustin doesn’t stop?”

  Alanna reached forward again. “We can figure out some other living arrangements. And that asshole?” Her eyes swirled to liquid amber. “You’ll have three grown wolves and a tiger to back you. I’ll gladly shred his hide for you.”

  Esme bounced in her lap and reached for the cereal, and Maylee was struck for the millionth time just how quickly the cub was growing. Not just in size, but she fine-tuned her motor skills a little more each day. Her little legs were growing stronger, and she was pulling herself up regularly. Walking wouldn’t be far off.

  Esme needed room to grow. Living out of a car wasn’t going to cut it for long. Growing pains and hardships awaited, but Maylee signed up for them when she promised Helena to keep the cub safe from their clan.

  And maybe Alanna was right. An enforcer down the hall, a pack around her, those things could insulate them from Dustin’s attacks.

  “For Esme, I’ll stay.”

  Chapter 8

  Ellis stuffed a pillow back under his head, but there was no finding sleep with the scent of the female down the hall filtering under his door. That constant, lingering intrusion combined with all the inhales he’d ingested since their first meeting. Her scent wrapped around him, coat
ed his skin, slipped its tongue between his lips.

  He groaned and yanked his pillow down over his face. Mistake. In that darkness, there were only the imaginings of what she felt like, tasted like, sounded like when he treated her better than any of the assholes in her past. Possessive need rode him to erase every last one of them from her memory.

  She was just down the hall. Two doors and a couple yards stood between them.

  He had to keep his hands to himself. She was a reluctant houseguest, for starters. Alanna had talked her into staying, Noelle had piled on with enthusiasm, and Maylee moved into his second bedroom with wariness so thick he could cut it with a knife. When he’d asked what made her decide to stay in Redwater, much less with him, she’d given him two words. For Esme.

  He was a fucking mess-and-a-half, too. He wanted her at the same time he knew he had to keep his distance. Opposite desires made for a bigger headfuck than he could handle. He’d already let his basket case baggage unload on her. She didn’t need his troubles adding to her own pile.

  For two days, they’d been trying to find their groove. He’d made himself scarce, partly because his fingers itched to feel warmth flaring to life at the meeting of their skin. Partly because he knew she needed time to make the space her own.

  But he still couldn’t quell the thought of crawling up her body, nibbling on the flashes of skin he’d seen while they shared the same space. Her shirt riding up while she reached for something on a high shelf. Legs darting out from under her towel as she raced from the bathroom and into her room. Expanses of creamy, unbroken skin anytime she wore a top with a low neckline and tilted her head to the side.

  A sending flashed through his head. Maylee tugged down the collar of her shirt to show off... nothing. The scene played on mute, the biting commentary erased under the throbbing in his head and cock.

  She didn’t have a mate.

  Ellis ground his teeth together. She wouldn’t find one in him. Not when he bounced so damn easily between wanting to give her the world and letting his anger short-circuit his own damn eyes and ears. Too much had happened in his past to give him a clear path to a future.