Savage Exile: Lion Hearts Book Five Read online

  Nights were always a problem. At least the sunlight brought out the others and banished the darkness. Night left her alone in her too big den and with no one to distract her thoughts.

  She’d taken to wandering the territory with the moon high above her head. Only when exhaustion pulled at her lids and added weights to her limbs did she turn back to the den that wasn’t hers.

  Most nights were completely uneventful. Others, well…

  A crack to the left twisted her around. Her mind raced with conjured details as she squinted into the darkness, but none of the imagined terrors rushed straight at her. Instead, a scarred white lion slowly prowled forward, carefully picking his way with his head lowered.

  Sage stayed utterly still, but her heart raced. Rhys was frighteningly powerful. She’d lost count of the times she’d watched him rip through the other Crowley males like a hot knife through butter. Each time ratcheted up the horror as he jumped from target to target, inflicting the kind of damage she wished she could unleash on those who’d hurt her.

  But the Crowleys were friends. They were pride members. They didn’t deserve the punishment they willingly subjected themselves to in order to bring Rhys back from the edge.

  That they did it again and again was even more confusing. A lion like that would have been put down hard and fast in her father’s pride.

  He stopped just a few feet away. Slowly, he sank down to his belly. His legs bunched under him, ready to spring into action if necessary, but he gave her space and made himself as small and nonthreatening as possible.

  Sage let off a shaky sigh. “Did my brother send you?”

  The massive white beast simply cocked his head. His silver eyes found hers, pinning her in place.

  That’d be just like Lindley to send someone to look after her. She could even imagine the turmoil he juggled. Did he stay in case Kyla needed him, or rush after the sister he’d only recently reconnected with? She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little hurt by his choice to stick with his mate, as natural as that was.

  She glanced over her shoulder at the distant sound of laughter, then turned her face to the stars. Maybe it was the chill of the night, or maybe something shifted inside her, but she felt as if the wind picked her up and carried her away from the others. They were so... happy, and she just drifted.

  She couldn’t go back there. A silent lion was the better choice over cloying happiness.

  Shoulders hunched, she set off in the direction of the Crowley ranch. She didn’t bother waving a hand for Rhys to follow or even glance at him behind her. The heavy steps that followed were enough to know he stuck around.

  “I’m sorry you were suckered into this,” she said quietly. “I promise I’m not doing anything wild. Just a straight walk home.”

  Rhys padded close to her side and let off a low rumble.

  “Why did I leave?” she guessed. At least he didn’t try to cut in front of her or herd her back.

  He made the sound again, which she took as confirmation.

  “I don’t know. Everything was too bright. I—”

  She snapped her mouth closed before she finished the sentence. No need to tell him she didn’t feel like she belonged. Disappearing in the middle of the festivities was enough to make a guess.

  She hated the roil in her stomach and the urge to drum her fingers. The feeling of eyes on the back of her neck made her want to run. Then there was the concern in voices and looks.

  She held out as long as she could. They were supposed to be celebrating Colette’s acceptance into the pride with silly movies and manicures. She was happy for Dash, and even a little envious of Colette allowing herself to let love in, but the party had still proved too much to handle.

  They walked in silence after that. Up and down hills. Across the fence line, where she carefully held apart the barbed wire and ducked through while he cleared it in a single leap. Past the shadowed lumps of cows sleeping on the ground.

  They were within sight of the dens when her foot caught against a rock and sent her stumbling forward. She threw out her hands to catch herself, but then Rhys was there, pressing against her and bracing her fall. Sage dug her hand into his mane and steadied herself, but didn’t let go immediately. She couldn’t. Warmth flashed to life in her fingertips and slowly spread through her hand and up her arm.

  Her heart pounded in her chest and her entire body tensed. It was the first touch of anyone but Kyla or Lindley. Not even the other women in the pride had gotten close enough in the two months she’d been there.

  But he was there. He held her up when something tried to take her to her knees.

  She took a deep, steadying breath, then swallowed back a sudden groan. His scent pushed at her in her moment of weakness. Hot mocha, with a touch of spice like cayenne pepper. Smooth and delicious, with the promise of a kick.

  She slid a look to the man keeping her steady. As much as she hated to admit it, she liked having him there. She couldn’t even mentally joke her way out of the comfort he provided. Big man, rough fighter, a little insane? He could probably crack her neck with two fingers, but she couldn’t bring herself to worry.

  Her lioness stretched through her, but Sage shoved her to the dark depths of her mind before the beast could gloat or flash any impossible sendings at her with the intensity of a baby shaking a rattle. Dangerous man. Dangerous to feel anything for anyone.

  Jasper had ruined that, and her father before him.

  “I don’t know how to do this,” she admitted in a whisper. “I don’t know how to be normal anymore.”

  Even in the worst of times in the pride of their birth, she’d been the one to paste on a smile and toss out a joke to keep Kyla’s spirits up. No matter how awful her father acted, which families he ripped apart, or what unwanted attention turned its evil eye on them, Sage wouldn’t let them dwell. The horrors were real enough without letting them consume their thoughts.

  They’d switched places sometime in the last two months. Only, Kyla wasn’t faking it. Her friend and her brother were happily mated and planning out their perfect future. Colette and Hailey were the headstrong ones. Dash spouted off jokes to make the rest of them groan.

  She was the one bringing them down.

  Rhys took a step forward, towing her along, and it was as if the floodgates opened. She had someone to cling to while all the troubles she’d bottled up poured out of her.

  “It’s like I’m living in a dream. I keep expecting to wake up in my nightmares, but every time the sun comes up, I’m still here.

  “I didn’t talk to Lin for nine years, and this past year—before I was sold—was full of hesitation and feeling each other out when we managed to sneak in a conversation. I’m forever grateful we have another shot at being brother and sister, and we picked up like we were never apart. But it’s still so, so strange.”

  She wound her fingers tighter into Rhys’s mane and passed a look down his back. Even against his white hide, the light scars were easily spotted. That was one thing they had in common. They both wore their damage on the outside as an advertisement to the rest of the world to look and pity the freaks.

  Not Rhys, though. He didn’t give her worried looks or sad eyes. She knew she was a mess, but the whole pity thing made her want to run and never look back. Which was entirely fucked. Resenting the very people she owed her life to? Yeah, that certainly deserved some worry.

  “Kyla acts like nothing has changed. She still barges through my door, the same as we’ve always done. I get wanting to hold on to the good parts, but everything is different now. She has a mate. Catching an eyeful of my best friend and big brother going at it isn’t my idea of a good time, but she doesn’t have to worry about that, so in she waltzes. Sometimes I just want to scream.”

  But she didn’t. She didn’t let her frustrations or irritated objections show. The hurt feelings weren’t worth the fight.

  Guilt coursed through her. Even putting the words to air seemed wrong. She’d told Kyla to find Lindl
ey to save herself, but the woman had twisted her words around and put herself on a mission to rescue her.

  The worst of the wave crashed over her just as they reached her steps. Her cheeks felt hot after spilling so much. Worse, she didn’t unload on a random stranger. She poured it out for another Crowley, and one sent to take her home by her brother. Secrets didn’t stay secret for long in a pride. No doubt everyone would know by morning.

  Fuck.

  She unwound her fingers from Rhys’s mane and shot up her steps.

  “Sage.”

  She turned, brows shooting together when she couldn’t find him immediately. Movement at the edge of her vision twisted her around to his den. He stood in the shadows of his door, eyes still bright silver.

  “You’re going to get through this,” he said in a raspy voice. Then he disappeared inside.

  She wished she believed him.

  Chapter 5

  Sage lived an entire life under the noses of the others.

  Rhys sipped at his beer and watched as the little cat flitted around the edges of the gathering. She seemed to appear wherever help was needed. Kyla, tangled up in her tank top and bikini underneath? Sage worked the pieces apart. Hailey looking for the bottle opener? Sage found it hidden underneath a bag of chips. Drinks were refreshed, hamburger toppings laid out, and the day went on smoothly.

  They were hardly the only ones to take advantage of the nice weather. Clans, families, clumps of friends and those on dates camped out all around the lake. Some swam, others lounged along the shore. Grills and picnic tables threw food scents into the air. Rhys even spotted a kayak or three in the middle of the lake, and tried to drown out the group playing volleyball nearby.

  “Rhys! Come in the water!”

  He glanced up from his spot at a picnic table. Hailey, Kyla, and Colette were perched on the shoulders of their mates. Hailey and Colette grappled and tried to push the other into the water while Kyla gestured wildly and tried to lure him closer.

  A tight smile and a wave to carry on brought a frown to her face, but the sudden screech and splash of Colette being knocked over pulled her focus off him.

  “Cheater!” Dash wheezed, pointing a finger at Trent. “You can’t knee a man in the nuts and call it a victory.”

  Sweet fuck, this wasn’t what he signed up for when Trent talked him into a job on the ranch. He’d been looking for some shop work where he didn’t even need to talk to the damn customers. He could fix engine innards on autopilot, but making nice with people who couldn’t even describe the weird noises or note when they’d happen wasn’t how he wanted to spend his final days of exile.

  Living alone with nothing but a handful of lions as batshit as him and tending the needs of some cows and horses? That suited him just fine. The fuckers were always down for a brawl when he needed to drain some of the poison in his head.

  Then Hailey came along and slipped a leash around Trent’s neck. Kyla did the same to Lindley. Colette trussed up Dash like the pig he was. Even Seth seemed more ready to settle than remain permanently single.

  He was glad for them. Really. But he didn’t fit in. He’d had a taste of that life and watched her bleed away in his arms.

  Irritation crawled along his body. He wanted to let his lion take his skin and run as far away as possible. Maybe he’d hit the water on the coast and keep paddling until he found a deserted island.

  The only thing that kept him in place were green eyes glancing at him from the edge of the water.

  Her eyes on him felt... good. Right. Kicked his heart into gear and made him want to cross the distance and see what her hands felt like. But there wasn’t any touching Sage, and not just because he was certain she’d bolt.

  He’d had a mate. One he missed every day. One he still unsuccessfully tried to save in his dreams.

  Rhys scowled at the carving in his hands. The legs were off again. One was too thick compared to the others. The back had too much sway. The eyes looked like they were taken from two different faces, but both were distant and dead, even for a hunk of wood.

  Another peal of laughter brought his eyes up and he caught Sage picking her way toward the table. She froze under his focus, green eyes meeting his for a brief second, before ducking her face and carefully skirting around him.

  She dumped her bottle in the box set aside for the pride’s empties, but fluttered at the edge of his vision instead of going for another. She lifted her hand, fingers hesitantly tracing over her collarbone and a slight dip down her chest before she stuffed her hands in her back pockets.

  Two steps carried her forward. Rhys didn’t move. He barely breathed. He didn’t understand his lion’s reaction to her. Anyone else sneaking up on him would have been snapped at, but not Sage. His inner animal watched her with increasing interest.

  A volleyball sailed through the air from the nearby game and landed right in front of him, sending his beer sideways and spilling into his lap. Cold shocked him to his feet. “Motherfucker!” he snapped.

  Sage jumped into action. She tugged a towel off the stack at the end of the bench and held it out for him to take while reaching to upright the beer.

  “It’s fine,” he insisted. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Assholes,” she muttered, and threw a glare in their direction before dropping her eyes again.

  He didn’t miss the flash of fire.

  Rhys reached for the ball and threw it back to the other group. The chorus of faint apologies did nothing to calm the irritation riding up the back of his neck and through his shoulders.

  He expected Sage to move on, but she stood there with the towel dangling from her hand. Wariness edged into her scent as he reached for it, and pat himself dry. Not that it’d help. He’d need to throw himself in the water to wash off the beer smell, and then he’d be wet all over again.

  She was being nice. And that deserved some reaction.

  “Thank you,” he said, shooting another glare at the volleyball players.

  “I closed your door for you,” she said in a rush. “I don’t think the others saw it hanging open when you last...”

  When he last lost his shit and had to spend a couple days in the cave.

  He canted his head. “That wasn’t necessary.”

  “Just doing my neighborly duty.” She lifted her eyes for a brief moment, then slipped away again.

  Rhys didn’t drop his look or sit back down until she made her way back to the edge of the water. The words were the most she’d said to him in months. Since the night he walked her home, in fact. She’d asked if he’d done it on her brother’s orders, but he’d simply been doing his neighborly duty—and satisfied the draw of his curious cat.

  The last thing he’d expected was for her to stumble and let years of frustration boil over. He understood so much of the out-of-place feelings she had, and not knowing what to do about them.

  He’d taken to watching her from that day forward. At first he simply wanted to figure out what was wrong with him and why his lion cared so much. He’d had a mate. He couldn’t have another. No man got that lucky, especially a killer like him. Sage had no business being with a rough monster, anyways. She was soft and fragile, while he was ready to tear the world apart just to make himself some miserable company.

  Only, the more he watched, the more he couldn’t look away. The more he saw how wrong his first impressions had been. Sage wasn’t soft. She wasn’t fragile, either. Weak, sad, pathetic, whatever words she wanted to use as descriptions didn’t actually apply.

  She had fire in her middle. Maybe it wasn’t raging hot or threatening to burn everything down like his own, but it was there. She just needed the spark to ignite it again.

  Something had bothered him in all that time. He’d chalked it up as general irritation, but the feeling hadn’t gone away no matter how much he fought or let his lion take his skin. He kept coming back and prodding at it, like poking at a bruise to test how much it’d healed.

  She rarely made her own choices.<
br />
  She filled her plate according to her preferences, drank water or alcohol as she pleased, but the big stuff never factored in. The mates wanted to get together? She went where they went, did what they did, offering no objections to the plans or ideas of her own.

  He couldn’t even fault the others for going along with it, or even not picking up on what she did. They asked, she answered affirmatively, they went about their business. And maybe it was easier on her. Decision making was an energy suck. Ask any alpha around how much they enjoyed being the one looked to for ideas all the time.

  The only outlier to that was she never shifted, and she never wore low cut shirts. The first, she always claimed she’d join in a run later. Later never arrived. The only tracks she left behind were her shoes or her bare feet, never any paws.

  The second only became apparent as the weather warmed. Now here they were at the end of June, and she stayed clothed and out of the water. He’d glimpsed the upper edge of puckered skin enough to know she had a scar. Tracing it and yanking her hands away was all he needed to know it bothered her. How she’d gotten it and why it haunted her were mysteries he couldn’t leave alone.

  He dragged a line over one shoulder of his carving.

  “You’re getting really good at those!” Kyla exclaimed when she wandered back to their table, hair wet from her defeated dunking in the lake.

  Rhys grunted to ward off the big, bubbly smile on her face. He dragged his knife along the thick leg in an attempt to even it out with the other three.

  Still, she wouldn’t be deterred. “You could probably even sell them online.”

  Rhys flicked her a look that would probably make Lindley yell at him if he saw, then went right back to his carving.

  “Ooh-kay,” she breathed, grabbing a bag of chips and turning away.